


First Kiss

by AssassinsDeed



Category: Fazilet Hanim ve Kizlari
Genre: F/M, Yaghaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 10:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16763608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinsDeed/pseuds/AssassinsDeed
Summary: YagHaz first kiss. I wrote this before the actual episode aired. So that eas how I imagined it would turn out. Those who follow this series will know it was nothing of the sort. Yet it was fun writing this one-shot. It picks up where Ece and Yagiz left off after their confrontation in front of the elevators.





	First Kiss

He threw himself into the staircase of the plaza just to get a break. To isolate himself from the hallway between his apartment and hers that witnessed many such moments. Moments that he played in his head over and over again minute by minute, frame by frame in his lonely nights.. But now he needed to get out of there. He felt like Ece's words sucked the air out of this place; that he would suffocate if he didn't leave.

It couldn't be real. Could it? Certainly he would have understood it by then. Or would he? He knew Hazan so well - or at least he thought he did that.. None of that mattered anymore.. He needed a plan.. He needed to talk to her.. He needed to ask delicately and hear her out for his own sanity. But at first he needed to breath.. He let go of a breath he didn't realise he was holding. "She is suffering exactly what you are suffering" were her exact words. And their history aside, Ece was the first one to have seen through his poker face and even confront him about it way back in Ağva. Reject it as he wanted, she knew since then. He thought on that day. Back when it was easier to hold back and burry this hopeless love in his heart. When he had the better command of his will upon seeing them share a kiss right in front of him. He had accepted it then that his love was unrequited. Simpler days it was. And now?

Since the graveyard ordeal everything has changed.. He has changed. For good or bad. That singular experience thought him hope.. Her eyes, everything she said was burnt into his mind now. Memories started to mingle fantasy in the middle of a cold lonely night when he woke up from a dream only to drift into another full of .. full of her.. He lifted a hand to his chest when he remembered their hug in the hospital. All of him started burning anew. Warmth flooded him. Then jealousy replaced the calming warmth and his mind raced back to the previous night.. Hazan was awkward when Sinan held her hand and tried to make a conversation.. The ring that was placed on her finger by his brother.. The unbearable weight that the little stone deplored on his heart.. He had tried to speak to congratulate.. But the pain grabbed his windpipe.. Heartbreak, pain and jealousy.. Jealousy took hold.. He wanted to grab her throw that ring away and take her with him somewhere.. Except he could do none of that.. So he left the yalı as soon as he could only to spend the night like a beat dog in pain and drinking and replaying everything he wanted to do but did not dare.

And today the conversation several minutes ago with Ece.. He had to collect himself and think.. He had to find Hazan and talk to her. He feared that he was not in his right mind to carry out such a conversation with her. Then again, what was the right time to ever ask her his questions?

Ece said Hazan was downstairs at the gym. She said to go ask her himself because this was a conversation they two needed to have. And she was right. So he headed to the gym. He didn't care to have a change of clothes. There was no attire that could mask his state of mind right now. He could as well head down to gym right away.

When he approached the entrance of the gym he automatically looked for her figure. After a minute he found her far away at the other and of the gym. As his luck would have it Sinan was there, too. They seemed to have a stressful conversation judging by the jesting. He looked down on himself, he couldn't explain being here in his current outfit. So he stayed in place for a while. When Sinan headed for the door defeated yet angrily, he waited another minute. When he couldn't give up on the idea of talking to her or when he decided he didn't want to wait or come back he found his feet carrying him toward her. He obeyed and approached her trying to compose at least one straight sentence. Needless to say, his efforts were fruitless. And when he entered her eyesight he sensed he was not the only one trying to pull some words together. He stopped at a weird distance. They made eye contact. He ripped his eyes slowly from hers and they wandered down to her hand in search of the offending ring. Yet it was nowhere to be found. As if she read his thoughts she started fiddling with her towel between her delicate empty fingers. Another one long eye contact later Yağız was able to put one and one together for the first time in a long time; Sinan a minute ago, no kissing goodbye, the missing ring. Did she? He could feel his mouth moving, putting his minute deduction and the surreal fragment of a thought into words. There seemed to be only one question that really mattered anyway.

Yagiz: "Why did you break up with Sinan?"  
Hazan: "What did you talk to Ece about in Ağva?"

Her question caught him off guard. So there was another question that mattered to her. Of all the things she could ask, why did she ask this very question?... Ece. It must have been her. She is the only witness afterall. She went behind him and put things into motion for them to have this exact conversation. He panicked hopefully which was not the biggest contradiction today. The silence was stretching between them while he was trying to understand what was going on and come up with an answer. Before he managed to say anything at all she spoke.

Hazan: "Great! Good talking. See you later!"

She snapped then turned her back to leave.

Yağız: "Hazan!"

He managed.

Hazan: "What? I thought you were done talking. And as always I will consent to whatever I get to hear from you and leave it at that" 

Yağız: "Yeah, you better leave when you yourself cannot answer my question.."

Hazan: "You should talk.."

Yağız: "Hazan.."

Hazan: "What's with repeat-my-name-a-dozen-times? Do you have an answer or not?"

Yağız: "I HAVE! Do you dare hear what I told Ece in Ağva?"

Hazan: "I DO! Do you dare hear why I broke up with Sinan?"

Yağız: "As if you would tell me outright. As if you would give me an answer without dallying or lying FOR ONCE!

His last remark punched the air out of her chest but she composed herself quickly and tipped up her chin in defiance. 

Hazan: "Right! I don't have to explain my love life to you. Actually I think I will go find myself another guy and do things with him that is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!"

She turned her back and started to stomp away from him. That was it. He knew he couldn't let her go away like this again, so he suddenly reached for her left arm with his left hand and pulled her back closer towards himself where he knew she belonged since the hug in the hospital. Before she could push him away with her free arm, he secured his right hand behind her neck securing the close proximity between them.

Yağız: "No. You are not going anywhere! Not until we are done talking."

He bit out! How could she leave him like that again? How could she talk about finding another man? His jealousy got the better of him and here he was. It was his turn to catch her off guard. He could feel every vibe of every cell in her body. The whipping of her long dark hair onto his upper arm when she turned thanks to his sudden pull. The hitch in her breathing upon the first clash of their bodies just now. The eyes that won't meet his. The sudden goosebumps mixed with a warmth at her neck where he placed his hand. The blush that spread to her chest and crept up her neck. He cought her swallowing hard upon his bit out whisper just a little too close to her face. He decided this is his favourite moment since he was able to read her down to her heart rate.. There it was, her defiance and her tipped head to the side in an efford to avoid eye contact..

Hazan: "Let go of me.."

Yağız: "I will. I just need to hear.."

Hazan: "I don't know what you want.."

Yağız: "Hazan.. Tell me.. Why? Tell me.."

Hazan: "Because I don't love him! I haven't in a long time!"

She cut his pleading short with her loud response while pushing him away from herself successfully. Before he could process her words she grabbed her bag and ran to the exit towards the lifts and vanished into one..

He was fixed in his place reveling in the information she just broke to him.. She didn't love Sinan. She left him. Many things that happened so far fell into place.. It was just not the time to busy himself with those.. He had to go after her. Make her understand. Give her his answer.

He got into the next lift and allowed it to climb him to the 27th floor with these thoughts in his mind. He only knew that he was on the right floor when the doors opened with a ring. He took long steps towards her door and before he knew it he was in front of the entrance to her apartment. He beat the door in the hopes to let her know that he came after her.

Yağız: "Hazan! Open the door! Hazan! I will not leave until you do!"

No reaction, yet. But he wouldn't quit until he talked to her. So he went on knocking at her door until she opened it after what felt like forever..

Hazan: "Why are you here? What do you want? Yes I broke up with your brother! Because I do not love him! Do you understand? I realised I do not love the man I thought was madly in love with! I did not even know him when I thought I loved him and when I got to know him...

She starts crying.. Big tears race down her cheeks as she rants on and on..

Hazan: "Why are you here? Do you care so much? Are you here to make a show of a good friend when you clearly got over everything we have been through? Say it! Say that you got over that night in the graveyard! Got over me! That you are back to your normal life! That I am and ever will be alone- burried in that grave! Say it!"

He didn't interrupt her first. This was exactly what they needed. She needed to say those things, scream even. He needed to hear them, drink them in. It poured over him like fresh water in a hot summer's day to hear that the night at the graveyard changed everything for her too. That she felt just as abandoned and lonely afterwards. That it was eating at her, too; to not have talked about that night. When she offered him this piece information, he could not hold back anymore. He closed the door behind himself. He ate the distance between himself and her as quickly as possible and practically bulldozed her until she was caged safely between the nearest wall and himself. He rested his hands on the wall with her between them. He spoke, trying to keep his voice tender.

Yağız: "I did not get over anything, nor will I ever! Hazan, look at me, Hazan, look into my eyes. Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever made a promise I wouldn't keep? I did not get over you. 

Hazan: "But Farah said.."

Yağız: "Forget what she said. Forget she exists."

Hazan: "But she's your.."

Yagiz: "Nothing She has always been a good friend. Nothing more. I had to ask her to be my pretend girlfriend because I fell in love with someone I shouldn't.. Hazan..

Hazan: "Yağız.."

Yağız: "Hazan.. Tell me.. Tell me you don't feel the same. Tell me to go. Tell me you're not with me in that graveyard.. "

Hazan stood still between his arms as if she was frozen in time.. While he was pleading with her as a last hope before he lost his sanity, he pressed his eyelids close. He was hoping she would tell him to go and wishing she would not at the same time.. When she made no sound for what should be the eternity, he opened his eyes to make sure she did not vanish. Unlike what he feared, she was there when he raised his eyes in search for hers. She was looking at him with the same look in her eyes as in the hospital. A look he thought was lost to him forever. He let his guard down for the first time that day and her scent attacked his senses to a degree of numbness. He wanted to get drunk on this look in her eyes. He saw her dark pools move on his face in a search for god knew what and they landed on his lips. Her lips opened slightly and her chest heaved and he caught a sigh almost impossible to mark. Yağız heard Hazan whisper his name in a struggle to form more words which finally cost him his last piece of sanity and he crashed his lips on hers.. His world stopped at the little moan she gave as a response to the first contact.. Everything stopped. Except his heart.. It was racing so fast he could feel it vibrate through all his body.. When she drove her fingers through his hair so that she can feel more of him, and when she opened her mouth to welcome his tongue he couldn't hear anything but his own blood pump through his veins.. He took in a breath she just let out.. He let his body wash his blood with her breath. Let "her" spread to every cell.. He could feel Hazan's sweet tongue trying to fight his and that she was desperately trying to become one with him by holding onto him with her free arm around his waist as tightly as she can. In that moment he was willing to give up himself and let her take over everything that he is. She was all that mattered. Being this close to her was all that mattered. Everything ever happened since he met Hazan was building up to this.. Afraid that she would change her mind or worse vanish, he wrapped one arm around her waist and with his free hand he opened her room's door and carried her in. Kissing her all the way to her bed Yağız first got rid of his camel coloured jacket with Hazan's help.. They fell on her bed unceremoniously. He didn't know if he could ever have enough of her.. of this proximity.. of her scent.. of this insanity she managed to draw him into so easily.. When he was busy reveling in his new found insanity caused by the length of their bodies rubbing against each other like long lost lovers, he felt her hand on his and she squeezed gently to get his attention. He stopped the battle of their tongues for a moment and rested his forehead on hers and before long he opened his eyes to meet hers. She looked so drunk and her lips so.. freshly kissed that he decided to commit this moment to his memory too.. She spoke with little hesitation..

Hazan: "Yağız.. You know that I am.. I mean I have never.."

She offered clumsily with a barely visible shake of her head. Yağız understood what she was trying to say only with delay.. 

Yağız: "So you've never.. Not even with.."

Hazan shook her head averting her eyes..

Yağız: "Then you are still.. a virgin?"

Hazan confirmed with another head movement still averting her eyes. Yagiz held her chin with one free hand and forced her eyes to his colourful pools. The moment their eyes met the room was charged with their tension anew. He let out a breath and rested his forehead on her again.

Yağız: "And you would have me?"

Hazan: "yes.."

Yağız: "Are you after my sanity, woman?"

THE END  
FOR NOW..!


End file.
